I am so glad Mom and Dad got married. I know now that things haven't always been perfect, but I always thought that mom and dad were the perfect couple. Its nice to remember the very, very good times we got to witness during their marriage. They were a good team, in my mind, mom sort of managing what needed to be done at home and dad finding out from her what that was while he was home and pitching in. Now that I'm a mom myself, I realized that moms carry the heavy end of that load, but mom seemed to really appreciate what dad did.
Whenever we'd read scriptures, and mom would start furiously looking up cross references and then show us all something really neat, dad would just smile with adoration and love it. He was so impressed with her comments. He thought she was so neat, and would make comments about, "That's why I married your mother."
Dad also would made hundreds of comments about mom's good-lookin' legs, and now that I'm thirty two, I realize how good-looking she really was--she really kept her weight down through all those pregnancies! He'd always come in and kiss her when he came home from work--I remember one of the little kids saying, "Dad always kisses mom in the kitchen when she's barefoot." He just had sparks in his eyes when he looked at her, when she was dressed up for church, he commented a lot on how good looking she was, and that's why he married her. He really was excited to see her after work or coming home from whatever.
I have a great memory of when we were reunited with Dad. After living in Turkey, we went to visit all the relatives in Utah while dad got settled in Germany and found us a car. I remember the feeling of happiness being together again. And I don't think it was just the excitement of finding out that the car he was pointing to was the Winnebago. I remember lying in the back of the Winnebago while we were driving home, and I could hear mom and dad talking excitedly with each other as we drove, catching up I'm sure. I had the most warm, secure, happy feeling. It was good to be together again, and good to hear my parents happy together again. I remember enjoying hearing them talking to each other in bed at night or Saturday mornings or whatever. That murmer was a great sound!
Dad really loved letting mom shine. When she was excited about a talk or conference or something she was doing, he was proud of her. He loved to hear how her talks went, he beamed telling us what "your mother" did, he just beamed when he was in the room with her (if she wasn't mad at him!). He enjoyed hearing about things going well for her, and would get excited hearing about her triumphs at home with us kids, at school, or at her church assignments. She'd get so excited and into things, you know how she is, like Christmas or Take One or whatever, and he'd just get excited for her and support her.
He always told us how lucky we were to have her, and he always supported her if it was her against us. I remember one time as a teen-ager, I thought she was being so unreasonable with me, and I just thought it was blatantly obvious that I was in the right! I went to dad and presented my "case," sure that he'd see it my way and make sure justice was done!!! Ha! He listened, but didn't validate me, just said, "Tanita, I love your mother first, and she is always right. If it comes between you and her, I choose her." If I had a dime for every time he said that!!! At the time it outraged me, but now I think he was giving me a greater lesson. I know he hasn't always been perfect at that very tough stance, but 90% is still pretty awesome. Now that I'm a mom, if I don't necessarily agree with Scott, it is very very hard to act like I do until we are away from the kids and I can talk to him! I appreciate that example, and mom deserved that support.
Dad and mom were often playful together, which was fun to be around. They'd make little jokes, like dad would say that my grades showed I was a "Chip off the Old Block," and mom would chime in, "Yah, but it's not your block! Those are from me!" And dad would laugh and agree.
They enjoyed telling the missionaries and singles that we had to dinner a lot the story of their courtship. We heard it countless times over dinner with guests, which was very healthy for us, and taught us over and over to rely on God for that important decision. Mom and dad just loved each other so much as they told that story. She said yes because he asked her to be his Eternal Companion, not just for this life, and so it is. Their motto: "I'll lift thee, thou lift me, and together we'll ascend."
Mom would always talk so positively of dad when he wasn't there: "Your father has always had a way of talking to people about things without offending them..." Always positive and proud of him. If he'd jump in and do the dishes, she'd chide us saying, "Your dad has worked hard all day! How can you think of making him do those!" She was always supportive to watch the kids and take on much of the responsibility to raise them when he had a time-consuming calling or lots of TDY's. She told us how lucky we were to have him for a father, how outstanding he was, how he was always very truthful, and she encouraged us girls to find a guy just like him. She said she believed Aunt Eileen hadn't married yet because she hadn't found a man as neat as Larry.
Mom was much of the thrust behind many of the neat things we did as a family, which dad acknowledged gratefully. She presided over many, many family home evenings when dad was out of town, can take credit for being the instigator of most family scripture study, spear-headed the family song, did many many neat things to pull our family together. Dad appreciated it and joined in.
I especially remember them as a good team when we did the family councils. They were a good head unit, united in excitement in this area. They were also good at planning fun family trips, and worked well together to pull it off with so many kids.
I'm grateful that you are my parents! We had many good, fun times. I remember Laurie Whitney visiting our home on Sundays, with dad's Lex De Azevedo playing and mom enlisting us all to put on a good Sunday meal, the family together, the tv off, and Laurie sighed and said, "Things are in order in your home." I didn't get it, but I do now: the priorities were right; commandments were being obeyed and taught; our parents came first to each other and we came next.
Things are not always easy in marriage, but the key is to remember how much good there has been, and that we can work to overcome anything. I continue to work to make my marriage as good as yours! I hope you celebrate the many good, wonderful times you have shared and look forward with hope, faith, and works for more wonderful, good times!
I will always remember how Dad would come up to Mom in the kitchen or anywhere and put his arms around her, give her a kiss, and say, "I love you." Mom always made every birthday special for Dad. Mom usually cooks every meal for Dad and she keeps a clean house. Dad always calls Mom at least once a day to say I care.
It seems like Mom and Dad don't publically display their affection for each other all that much (you know, they've never even French kissed! I guess Trey has them beat at that.), but we'd always catch them hugging and pecking each other very lightly in the kitchen. That must be some sort of romantic location. But my mind recalls countless images of Dad opening doors for Mom or helping her get into her coat. If ever one of them had a talk or lesson to give in Church, they were there for each other (if the situation permitted. I don't think it was so handy if the lesson was in R.S. or Priesthood) to give support. They would go listen to the talk or lesson and always ask how it went if they couldn't be there. Nowadays Dad calls constantly to make sure things are going as they should or to see if he should pick someting up at the store on his way home. Mom and Dad especially love to meet during his lunch break for a quiet and easy meal at
the Bean Bandit or Jade Dragon, and if kids are with Mom, they come along, too.
A funny story is the time when we went to church a little late. The chapel being crowded, Dad marched right up to the front stage area with his faithful wife and family behind him. When he turned around, he noticed we all opted for some bench space Mom found in the audience. OK, so it's not illustrative of support, but it sure was funny!
When I look back over the years of growing up and my childhood, I can't help but reflect with joy and deep pride on my wonderful parents who raised me. Each one has instilled a special sense of self worth in me. Mom always did little things to show her acts of kindness. I do not have very many memories from Germany, but one that I've kept with me was when we came home and I had a mess in my room. My toys were scattered all over the place. I was extremely tired and did not want to pick up the mess. Mom, however, sweetly and motherly simply said, "I'll help you pick up your toys." I don't remember why, but this had such great affect on me. I felt like I must've been someone special to have mom help me clean up. This kind of treatment continued on throughout all my school years. As dad has said many times, "I don't think you would have made it through school if mom didn't do all those research papers for you!" Mom always made me feel special by listening to whatever I had to say, even if I couldn't communicate it very well. When I was young, I had a dream where I went to the temple and got married. Mom not only heard me out, but she wrote it all down and told me,"I think you've been through the temple." When I was young, I started talking about stories of another little brother. While my siblings thought it was funny, mom took it very seriously. She never forgot the stories, but I did. When mom was pregnant with Jimmy, I was so excited about having another brother, I asked, "What should we name him?" She said, "I don't think we have a choice." Then she related to me all the Jimmy stories.
One time I had watched a cartoon, I think it was the "Flintstones", and I wanted to play like I was a policeman. I went straight up to mom and told her that I wanted her to make a policeman jacket, and then I told her the symbols I wanted her to put on it. She kindly asked me to draw them, and within a short time she had sewed me this policeman jacket. I loved it, and thought that I was very neat to have such a jacket. Now that I look back, I'm surprised mom was able to sacrifice that kind of time to do something so silly for me. Mom also always had a way of surprising me. She would write down notes, telling me how special I was and how much she appreciated me as a son. Then she would sneak them in my journal. Years later, as I would look through my journal, I would find these notes that would really give me comfort and let me feel mom's love even though I was far away. She continued this practice, for when I was in the MTC, I found a page in my new missionary journal that she wrote on. I often would reflect on this page whenever I had hard times on my mission.
Dad was equally as talented in making me feel loved. One memory I will never forget, was when dad was looking at my pringles can. I used to save coins and money in that thing. Dad looked at that can and then at me, and said,"Is this yours?" I agreed, and then dad took his tuna fish can that was full of coins, and dumped the whole thing into my can. It was then that I realized I was his favorite son. I loved playing T-ball and little league baseball for dad. Whenever he could be at one of the games, I always wanted to play better, hit harder, run faster, and throw the ball farther. Whenever I would get frustrated at the coaches, dad would always just agree with me and say,"I'm sure sorry son." Even though my frustrations were over the stupidest things, dad would always support me and let me know I was important to him. He knew how to make me feel special. I loved it when he would call me "Trey-boy" because I was one of the only sons who had a nick-name from dad. I loved going fishing with dad on fathers and sons outings. We would leave the main group, and dad would bring me to the quiet brooks of the stream, while he taught me strategy in how to fish. Then he would tell me stories of his uncle Jenson, who would tie his own flies. I loved it when dad would tell me stories of our ancestors. Of course, nothing was ever more touching to me than when dad held me tight in the MTC, and said with tears in his eyes,"I'm so proud of you Trey. Thank you for being my son."
I can only hope that when I become a father and husband, that I can have a marriage as good as our parents. I'll always remeber mom talking to other women, telling them how lucky she was to have such a good husband. "Larry just treats me like a queen," she would always say. I've always wanted my future wife to be able to say that about me. I also remember the time, while we were living in Monument, that mom came home and told us about how someone complemented both mom and dad about how well they treated each other. The person said they acted like they were still newly weds with the way they smiled at each other and held each other in public. I've made it a goal of mine to be able to act like that when I'm in my fifties. Mom still complemented dad on how good looking he was even while I was a senior in highschool. I guess because Sister Ward was flirting with him in choir. But mom didn't get mad, she just said, "It's true. Daddy is still very good looking. I think he's just gotten better looking with age." And we can't count how many times we've heard dad tell us how good looking mom is. Dad has always admired mom. I couldn't think of a better team to get through all the hardships and trials that they've been through together. I can't think of better examples of the way marraige was intended; the way the spouse relationship was supposed to work out. I think they've exemplified the meaning of the word help-meet. I only hope to be like them some day. I love you two, -Trey
Enjoy the website. Happy Anniversary to a wonderful couple! - Love Tanya